Lessons in Waiting: A Battle with the Weather

I stepped outside first thing this morning, hopeful that the soil had dried enough to start tilling.

No such luck.

The ground was still too wet, and with more rain expected tomorrow, I knew it would be a waiting game.

Years ago, I would have fought the soil, forcing the rototiller through too-wet ground, only to regret it later when it turned to hard clumps.

But homesteading—and life—has taught me better.

Push too hard at the wrong moment, and you create more problems.

That lesson, in a way, started long before I had a garden.

Growing up, I was forced to be perfect—to always strive for more, to meet impossible expectations.

Getting a perfect score on a paper wasn’t good enough; I should have asked for extra credit.

Bringing home anything less than an A+ on a report card?

Unacceptable.

And the consequences weren’t just words.

They were a leather belt.

A 2x4 with holes drilled into it.

A bathtub of cold water, where I stood shivering before the blows came.

I wasn’t allowed to wait.

To learn.

To fail.

But the garden has taught me that not everything thrives under pressure.

That sometimes, waiting is the only path to growth.

Giving Old Seeds a Chance

Patience has never been my strong suit, but gardening has a way of teaching you, whether you want to learn or not.

I’ve been working through my stash of older seeds, giving them one last chance before I declare them duds.

Some of these seed packets have sat in storage for years.

Some came from garden swaps, others from impulse buys when I told myself, This year, I’ll plant everything on time.

Spoiler alert: That didn’t happen.

Now, I’m determined to use them.

Maybe they’ll sprout, maybe they won’t, but at least I’m not wasting them.

It reminds me of friends I have known, who never threw away a seed. “They just need a little more time,” they would say, gently patting the soil after planting them.

I’d wonder back then, but I get it now.

Gardening is about hope.

Every planted seed is a whispered maybe.

Stocking Up at Tractor Supply: Choosing What’s Best for My Animals

I made my usual stop at Tractor Supply today, and like always, I walked out with more than I intended.

The plan was simple: grab Purina Organic Chick Starter & Grower for the chicks.

But I also spotted a bag of chicken treats filled with edible flowers, herbs, and vegetables. I caved.

My chicks went wild for them, and honestly, seeing them so happy made my day.

Growing up, food was a source of control.

I wasn’t allowed to eat until the adults were finished.

If there wasn’t enough, I did without.

If I didn’t like what was on my plate, I was forced to eat it anyway.

Now, I control my food.

I make sure my animals eat well because I know what it’s like to be hungry.

I know what it’s like to scrape by, hoping there’s enough left.

That’s why I garden.

That’s why I homestead.

Because the power to feed myself, to feed my animals, is something no one can take from me anymore.

Giving the Chicks a Taste of the Outdoors: A Reminder of Growth

After unloading everything, I dug out an old pet pen I had received for review a few years ago.

It had been sitting unused, but today I realized it was perfect for the chicks' first outdoor adventure.

I set it up in the yard, nervous about how they’d react.

Would they panic?

Try to escape?

Instead, they took to it like they’d been waiting their whole lives for this moment—scratching, pecking, and chirping with excitement.

I watched them, smiling, but also thinking about how far I’ve come.

There was a time when I felt trapped, when my world was so small that it felt like I’d never escape.

From the abuse.

From the lies.

From the people who took everything I loved.

I lost my children because of a system that was never meant to help me.

No matter how many hoops I jumped through, no matter how many parenting classes I took, it was never enough.

But I never stopped fighting.

Just like these chicks, finally stretching their wings in the sunshine, I found a way to break free.

And I’ll be damned if I don’t give myself the same patience, the same space to grow.

Deodorizing the Kennel – A Surprising Success

I made another stop at Big R today, picking up Sweet PDZ and St. Gabriel Organics Fly Swatter—two staples in my barn.

Normally, I use them in the stalls, chicken coops, and rabbit cages, but today, I decided to test them in the dog kennel area.

I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting miracles.

But after a few hours, the ammonia smell was gone.

Completely.

Even the general "farm smell" had disappeared.

I can’t tell you how many times people have walked onto my property and said, “I expected it to smell like a barn, but it doesn’t!”

That’s one of my small homesteading prides—keeping things clean and fresh despite the animals.

I know I’ll have to reapply the deodorizer more often in outdoor areas, but for now, I’m calling this a win.