Content Warning: This post includes personal experiences, including loss, food insecurity, and struggles with homesteading challenges. Some descriptions may be difficult to read. Please proceed with care.
Welcome the survival diary for June 9, here is what is happening today on our homestead.
I haven't written a survival diary in a while.
Sometimes, sharing personal things is harder than it seems—especially here on the blog, where I know anyone can read it.
But that’s exactly why I started these survival diary posts in the first place.
Not just for me, but for anyone else out there who might be feeling the same way.
Some people might skip past these posts, just looking for homesteading tips, and that’s fine.
But for those of you who are here, reading this—thank you.
June 9 – A Date That Used to Hold Weight
Today would have been my mother and stepfather’s wedding anniversary.
They are both gone now.
My mother passed in 1998, and my stepfather, Larry, died in 2013—just a few days before my husband Jerry passed.
And if I’m being honest?
I don’t miss them.
That probably sounds harsh, but the truth is, their presence in my life was more chaos than comfort.
Their relationship, their choices, their treatment of me—it all shaped me, but not in a way that makes me look back fondly.
I don’t feel grief today.
What I feel is a strange emptiness, not because I miss them, but because I never really had them in the way that a child should have parents.
For years, I felt like I was the black sheep—the one who never quite fit, the one who was never quite good enough.
That feeling doesn’t disappear overnight, even when you logically understand that their actions and opinions were never a reflection of you, but of them.
It still lingers, creeping in when you least expect it.
But this year is different.
Because in 2014, I finally met my real dad.
Finding the Family I Never Knew
I can’t even put into words what it felt like to meet my father for the first time.
To finally look into the eyes of someone who truly loved me, without conditions, without judgment, without all the years of pain and resentment attached.
And not just him—I found a whole family.
Brothers.
Sisters.
People who I hoped would welcome me with open arms instead of pushing me away.
For so long, I carried this deep loneliness, thinking I didn’t belong anywhere.
That I was always going to be the outsider.
And now?
Now I realize I had a family all along.
They just weren’t the ones I grew up with.
That realization is healing.
It doesn’t erase the past, but it gives me the possibility of a future filled with love I never thought I’d have.
Still Missing Jerry, But Learning to Live Again
Even though Jerry has been gone almost three years now, there are still moments when it feels unreal.
Some days, I expect to hear his voice or see him tinkering around the farm.
But grief is strange like that.
It sneaks up on you when you least expect it.
Jeffrey and I are doing okay.
He’s moved to a first-shift job, and honestly, it’s made things easier on our relationship.
We actually get to spend time together now.
It’s funny how something as simple as having evenings together can make such a big difference.
The Never-Ending Battle with Vehicles
Last night, we went to pick up a thermostat for Jeffrey’s mom’s car, only to come home and find out the battery had drained.
Just another issue in the never-ending saga of vehicle problems.
He thinks it’s an electrical issue.
I just know it’s another thing added to the ever-growing list of things that need fixing.
On the bright side, I finally got a battery for the truck.
It’s back on the road, and that’s a relief.
Not having reliable transportation makes me feel trapped, and I hate that feeling.
Of course, driving the Ford F350 comes with its own set of frustrations.
It’s a nightmare to park, and it guzzles gas like nobody’s business—9 miles per gallon on the highway!
But at least it runs.
Health Worries and Uncertainty
This morning, I didn’t feel great.
Usually, I get up, check on my blog and vlog first thing, but today, I just sort of puttered around, not really wanting to do anything.
I had an appointment at the Cancer Center, and I guess that was weighing on me.
I still don’t know the results.
If there’s something wrong, I’ll find out later this week.
If not, I’ll see the doctor next week.
The waiting is always the hardest part.
The Garden, The Livestock, and Small Joys
Before heading to my appointment, I let the chickens and turkeys out and checked the garden.
It’s been a rainy spring, which means more weeds than crops.
But there were still small victories—strawberries to pick, basil ready to harvest.
No turkey eggs today, just chicken.
But that’s fine.
Every little bit counts.
After my appointment, I came back and went straight to the garden again.
Lettuce needed picking, garlic scapes were ready to be harvested, and I even noticed some French tarragon that needed cutting.
Lemon balm will have to wait for another day—I can only do so much at once.
The process of harvesting, washing, and storing everything always makes me feel grounded.
I soak everything in cold water, rinse it twice, and then carefully pack it away.
When you grow organically, you learn to be extra thorough—there’s always a stray bug or a bit of plant debris that needs to be cleaned off.
I still haven’t decided what to do with the herbs.
Maybe I’ll make a vinegar, maybe I’ll freeze them, maybe I’ll dehydrate them.
But I did get my garlic scapes processed.
I do this every year, and I’m always grateful later.
If you’ve never preserved garlic scapes, I highly recommend it—they’re a lifesaver when you run out of garlic.
Egg Storage – A Homesteader’s Trick
I don’t refrigerate fresh eggs anymore.
As long as they’ve never been washed or chilled, they can stay at room temperature just fine.
I only wash them right before using them to keep the natural bloom intact.
Older eggs sometimes go into the fridge to extend their shelf life, but I try to use the fresh ones as-is.
And when I have too many?
I freeze or water glass them for winter use.
Nothing goes to waste on this homestead.
End of the Day – And Still So Much to Do
By the time I finally sat down for lunch, I was grateful for the leftover tater tots from last night.
I was nervous to eat them after getting sick after supper yesterday, but thankfully, they sat just fine.
Now, I need to get supper started—Swiss steak made from local, grass-fed beef.
I’m making mashed potatoes to go with it, and of course, a tossed salad with my freshly picked lettuce.
But before I can call it a night, there’s still so much to do.
- The vlog needs to be edited and uploaded.
- The poultry needs to be put up for the night.
- This blog post needs to be shared.
- My usual Facebook groups need visiting.
- There are chore threads to check.
- Reviews to write for items I’ve been testing.
There are never enough hours in the day, are there?
I know I’m not alone in this.
If you’re a homesteader—or even just someone trying to keep up with the chaos of life—you probably feel the same way.
So tell me—how are things on your homestead?
Do you ever feel like the to-do list never ends?
Drop a comment below.
I’d love to hear from you.
And if you found this post helpful or relatable, please consider sharing it.
Let’s keep the conversation going.
Until next time, take care and keep surviving.
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