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Survival Diary May 30: A Rollercoaster of Emotions and Resilience

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Content Warning: This post includes personal experiences, including loss, food insecurity, and struggles with homesteading challenges. Some descriptions may be difficult to read. Please proceed with care.

Welcome to the survival diary May 30.

Today has been an emotional rollercoaster, to say the least.

Some days on the homestead feel like a battle, a test of endurance where every little victory is hard-won.

But giving up?

That’s never been an option for me.

I’ve been through worse, and I’ve learned that no matter what life throws my way, I’ll figure it out.

Starting the Day with Hope and Hunger

I woke up this morning feeling okay but really hungry.

Doing without a refrigerator has been tough.

I’ve been rationing food, thinking ahead like our ancestors had to, and adjusting to a way of life most people today wouldn’t know how to handle.

But today, I had something to look forward to—my freeze-dried food order was arriving.

Knowing that at least I had that safety net gave me a sense of relief.

While waiting for UPS, I decided to tackle one of the many daily homestead chores—cleaning out the chicken brooder.

A Glimpse of Normalcy Amidst Chaos

When the UPS truck finally arrived, I felt a wave of excitement.

I unboxed the bucket of freeze-dried food, taking inventory of what I had.

It was a comfort, knowing I had options again, even if they weren’t fresh.

Still, I needed a real meal, something hot and filling.

So, I headed out for some chicken bites and potato wedges, along with an unsweetened iced tea.

It wasn’t a home-cooked meal, but it was food, and after days of managing without a refrigerator, it felt like a small luxury.

Then, in an unexpected but welcome moment, my sister stopped by my table to say hello.

We rarely get time together since she works so much.

It was a brief moment, but one that reminded me how precious these little connections are.

 

The Moment of Relief – The Fridge is Fixed!

When I got back home, the weather was nice, so I decided to mow both my yard and my neighbor’s.

I was halfway through when I saw someone walking toward me.

It was the appliance repairman.

I hadn’t heard my phone ring over the noise of the mower, but it didn’t matter.

The part had finally arrived, and in under ten minutes, my refrigerator was working again.

I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.

No more makeshift food storage.

No more scrambling to keep things from spoiling. I could finally start putting my kitchen back together.

Bringing Home Our Food in the Storm

The next step was picking up the food I had stored at a friend’s house.

I contacted her, made arrangements, and then grabbed some fresh grass for the chicks while waiting.

Just as I was about to leave, a severe weather alert came over my phone.

I rushed to get the food into my car and started driving home, hoping I’d make it before the worst of the storm hit.

I wasn’t so lucky.

Halfway home, the skies opened up, and heavy rain poured down.

By the time I pulled into the driveway, I was soaked, but I didn’t have the luxury of waiting.

I had to get the food inside before it was ruined.

One by one, I carried the bags through the downpour, finally placing them safely in the kitchen.

I was exhausted, but at least everything was where it needed to be.

A Trip Down Memory Lane

With the fridge working again and food back where it belonged, I could finally cook a proper meal.

And for the first time in what felt like forever, I didn’t have to worry about what to do with the leftovers.

Later that evening, just when I thought the emotional weight of the day was behind me, I found out that someone we know had bought my grandparents' house years ago.

The very house I lived in for the first two years of my life.

I had once dreamed of owning that house again, of reclaiming that piece of my past.

I even had the chance—but I let it go.

And now, all the memories came flooding back.

Some good, some painful.

But all of them reminding me of how much life has changed.

Restless Nights and an Uncertain Tomorrow

Even after such a long day, sleep wouldn’t come.

My legs felt restless, my mind wouldn’t quiet down.

Maybe it was the storm.

Maybe it was the emotions stirred up from talking about my grandparents’ house.

Or maybe it was just life, shifting and changing as it always does.

I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this—I’ll get through it.

Because I always do.

Tomorrow is a new day, and even though the rain might have set me back, I’ll check the garden, see if the soil is ready for planting.

And if it’s not?

That’s okay.

I still have time.

Because resilience isn’t just about getting through the hard days.

It’s about knowing that better ones are coming.

Behind The Scenes Survival Diary

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